Quote

Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Battle
Turn
Open
Proportions
Nice
Epic
Turns
Proportion
Looks
Teeth
Like
Mouth
Mouths

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When I'm wrong I'm like the Emperor on the Death Star thinking he'll turn Luke. Yet, when I'm right I'm a Jedi like my father before me.
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Ma'am, are you trying to molest me via drivethru?
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When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.
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I don't hate anyone. I simply block them out using hellish visions in a blind white rage. But if I see them out I'm pleasant.
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When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.
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My professional dreams were coming true while I was living a personal nightmare.
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You can't teach an old hater new truths.
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A lot of comics are kind of vampire types we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I'm going to go out there and shake hands.
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When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.
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Are there glass shards in my anus?!
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Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.
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When I'm looking for hot button answers to tough questions, I don't look to congressman or my mayor. I say, 'What would Miss U.S.A. have to say about this?'
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You have to have a strong sense of humor to date me, and also know that you're probably going to be a part of the routine quite a bit.
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I was very good at kickball ... I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school
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I'm bringing back the skinny tie but wearing it tied around my balls.
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I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.
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I just get excited doing shows. Off stage I am actually very feeble and must be spoon-fed because my hands are too brittle.
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I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
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I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.
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When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.
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