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Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they are not there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
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More quotes by Scott Adams

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Dilbert: I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion machine. Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't. Dogbert: A lot of spare time? Dilbert: Exactly.
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As long as there are annoying people in the world, I won't run out of material.
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E-books are impervious to analogy.
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The best things in life are silly.
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Sadness is just another word for not enough coffee.
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Dogbert: So, Since Columbus is dead, you have no evidence that the earth is round. Dilbert: Look. You can Ask Senator John Glenn. He orbited the earth when he was an astronaut. Dogbert: So, your theory depends on the honesty of politicians. Dilbert: Yes... no, wait.
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If I had to pick one quality that best predicts success (other than wanting to be successful) it would be the willingness to risk embarrassment.
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Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there
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A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels.
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Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people's hard work is rewarding and faster.
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The human population is 90% gullible, violence-prone dipshits.
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Work is like the rest of life. The best parts are free.
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You already barely exist. Disappearing entirely won't be that much of a change.
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Some people fear that technology will become more engaging than live human interactions. That's silly technology is already way more interesting than other people.
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Our perceptions of truth are built around what is practical, not what is true. Even the smartest human brain doesn't have the capacity for discerning true facts. That's why so many of us settle for scientific facts. It's the best we can do.
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In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car.
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Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
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If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.
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Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.
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I believe everybody in the world should have guns. Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers too. I believe that all citizens should have their weapons of choice. However, I also believe that only I should have the ammunition. Because frankly, I wouldn't trust the rest of the goobers with anything more dangerous than string.
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